Exhaustion 3
Am I Experiencing Burnout? Three Things That Can Help You Get Your Life Back.
Whether you call it burnout, a meltdown, exhaustion, a nervous breakdown, overwhelming fatigue, or one of the 288 synonyms listed, one thing is clear, you are persistently tired.
You wake up tired, you work tired, you parent tired, you go to bed tired and then you can’t sleep. When you finally do fall asleep, it seems like mere minutes pass before you start the day all over again.
The last few months (or years) may feel like the Bill Murray movie Ground Hog Day. Each day you try a new set of tasks, hoping that the next day you will wake up and it will be suddenly so much better. Yet, despite your creative attempts it doesn’t feel like one day is much different than the next.
Burnout is the result of a constant depletion of mental and physical energy with limited refuelling. This emotional and material drain on the body leaves its occupant feeling empty.
It’s hard to live in a world where we are wanted for so many tasks and by so many people. One in which our own pleasures of life seem impossible to incorporate. However, these pleasures are the things that make working/parenting/living worthwhile and fill our bucket. They are the reward at the end of a hard day/month/year.
Yet lately, filling ourselves up has repeatedly fallen to the end of our own “to do” list.
Tips to Get You Out of Burnout and Starting to Fill Your Bucket
One: Control What You Can Control
This means preserving the limited energy, creativity and inspiration you have, by reallocating tasks to others. You have the power to decide where to spend your energy dollars. This may mean asking for help, hiring someone to do a task, or simply moving this off your to do list.
A time savings of just 2 hours a day could provide you an opportunity for self-care, a nap, or just a moment to relax and recharge.
For example, reallocating 45 minutes of those minutes to an at home restorative yoga or yoga nidra class has been shown in research to be as restful as 3 or more hours of sleep. Putting it that way, it seems like an easy trade-off.
Some ideas include:
- Services (laundry, cleaning, pet walking) – these tasks may be able to be downloaded to someone in your household, or can be services that you engage with.
- Setting up a chore wheel – tasks that do not need to be done by you can be assigned to other members of the house to do on a rotating basis – vacuuming, washing the dog, folding the laundry, taking out the garbage…
- Food delivery services – whether the meals are already prepared, need some preparation or simply the groceries arrive at your doorstep, taking some time off of shopping, chopping and cooking can be freeing.
Two: Getting to the Root of Your Goals/Agenda
Whether we state them out loud, or share them with solely with ourselves, there are beliefs out there keeping us doing what we do every day. Our belief system has been built from our interactions with adults in our lives. Our often-unconscious commitment to them drives many of our daily decisions and habits.
If our belief is ‘I have to do it all by myself because that is what is expected of me’. Then it is easy to understand how passing off even a simple task is difficult because we’ve hardwired ourselves to believe that we can’t ask for help.
Or if our belief system is “If I don’t do it, no one will”, we can understand that leaving a task to be done by a colleague/partner or child may feel impossible because our belief embedded in us is that no one else cares if this is done.
So how do we get to what some of these hidden beliefs are?
The next time get a feeling of dread before starting an activity ask yourself:
- Why am I doing this?
- Why do I feel this way?
- What do I want to get from this?
Start journaling down your thoughts. Write them down for a week, and then go back and look at them and see how many of these are similar or different.
How can you make them into better beliefs?
| I have to do it all by myself because that is what is expected of me | I am strong and ready to ask for help so that I can spend my energy on things that are important to me |
| If I don’t do it, no one will | It’s time to show someone else how to do this task so that I can move on to something new and exciting. |
Repeat your new beliefs each morning until they become your automatic reaction and drown out your other non-supporting beliefs.
Three: Setting Boundaries
There is a saying ‘give someone an inch, they will take a mile’. This phrase is often a reflection of our personal boundaries. As soon as we let them down, we forget to put them back up. Burnout is about boundaries.
It’s a reflection of what we have been taught. From a young age that you were taught that saying yes, and doing what you are told is important.
Yet in all the teaching we have had, I have not yet had someone teach me how to say ‘no’.
No should not be a word that is offensive or arrogant, in-fact it simply means I do not want to have this experience/opportunity. It is not right for me.
It is certainly hard to say no, especially to people that are close to us, or influential on us.
However, we are the only ones that can protect our own schedule and our energy allocation. The only way we can prioritize yourself is by saying no to others.
It is going to be hard at first, but the more you say it and realize that people will still love you, and will admire you for your boundaries, the easier it will be.
Saying No Can Be Passive at First:
- Commit to working your 9 – 5 day, during 9 – 5. Stop the urge to check emails before bed, or before work starts. This means that the time isn’t being used by your office, instead you are deciding what to do with them.
- Make Your Own To Do List (ALONE). Writing your to do list for the day before you open your calendar/devices – means you set your own agenda and you are not letting someone else decide what your day will be like.
- Setting up a series of non-negotiables in your calendar. These are the important time-bound tasks, that you have been known to give up when someone else needs that space in your schedule.
This might be – being in bed by 9pm, or working out for 60 minutes three times a week. Book these in as a permanent non-movable schedule in your calendar and see how prioritizing yourself can fill your bucket.
Saying No Can Then Evolve into “In-the-Moment” Requests:
- Saying no to a lunch or dinner party because you had already allocated that time to something else.
- Choosing to pass on a volunteer opportunity because it will cut into your non-negotiable time.
- Refusing a work opportunity because it means you will need to do more and not less.
Burnout is mental as well as physical. A team of healthcare providers including therapists, naturopathic doctors and body workers can certainly help you build your physical resilience, however, just as critical is the work you do to prevent you from re-experiencing burnout over and over again.
Want to know more about burnout? Download my Burnout Scale by filling in the form below.
The scale shows you what to look for yourself, friends and family members and gives you the first step in identifying how you feel.
Want to read more about fatigue and insomnia? Two of the most common aspects of burnout we see in the office, read:
Insomnia No More! Tips on How To Get Some Rest.
Feeling Fatigued? 5 Reasons Why Feeling Flat Out Exhausted Isn’t Normal.
Dr. Christina Carew is a functional medical investigator who approaches health with an out-of-the-box problem solving attitude. Her patients love that she breaks what seems like complicated mumbo-jumbo into humorous stories, and digestible information nuggets. She witnesses that empowering patients to better understand their own health leads to better outcomes and healthier lives.
Christina became a naturopathic doctor after experiencing her own complex heath journey. Her passion to make health “easy to understand” was important for everyone. She is a forever learner, especially around the role our environment on health, how our gut really is the center of many health concerns and how our mental wellness affects our daily living.
An international speaker, a published author, and an outdoor enthusiast. Her husband refers to her as a mermaid for her love of water sports and the ocean.
Note: This blog provides general information and discussion about medicine, health and related subjects. The words and other content provided in this blog, and in any linked materials, are not intended and should not be construed as medical advice. If the reader or any other person has a medical concern, he or she should consult with an appropriately-licensed health care worker.
Isn’t It Time to Be Heard?
Finding Your Voice
Whether you feel great or crappy, you did it! You decided it was time to be heard and you started taking the first steps.
You got off your butt, freed yourself from Netflix and finally got the courage to go and see someone about how you are really feeling – physically and emotionally.
It’s time. You’re ready to share how you it’s been living in your body for the last 6 months (10 months, 10 years). It’s time for answers! You are done with good enough, and getting by, and you are ready for great.
Patiently you are sitting in your doctor’s office. Your name is finally called, you march down the hall mantra-ing to yourself ‘I will ask for what I want’ the entire way. You perch down on the plastic chair in the clinic room, and wonder if the person before you had the same concerns, and you wait.
You wait, until the healthcare professional (doctor, naturopath, dentist, chiropractor, life coach, psychologist, etc…), comes into the room and in the interim you practice what you want to say.
Your appointment starts, their voice questions, “How are you?”
Instead of sharing the prepared speech you have practiced. The one about how you are really doing. You respond with the most expected answer to the most asked question each and every day with “Good, and how are you?”
Ugh! And just like that, you feel deflated and defeated. What you had hoped to share seems like it has long ago been swept away in the tide that washes over the room.
Your appointment becomes this lobbying of expected responses back and forth, a renewed prescription and you are ushered out.
The cycle starts again. Where you work your way back to this very space. You will once again feel you can try again to ask the questions that brought you in, in the first place.
You are stuck feeling like you have not been heard.
When It Feels Like You Can’t Find Your Voice?
It’s hard sometimes to ask for what you want. What you really want and need, doesn’t easily slip out of our mouth. It takes courage and intention. We’re people pleasers and have become automated at putting everyone else before us.
We each have our automated answers, breaking this pattern is hard.
We complain to our families and closest friends. However when it is time to share what really matters with someone who may be able help you make a shift, the words sometimes feel forced to come out.
3 Tips to Help You Ask for What You Need
Tip 1: Finding Your Voice: Write it Down (and Bring It with You)
Memory jogs are so incredibly important in a world where we have information thrown at us in all directions.
Write down all the things you are feeling and want to talk. Bring this list with you, or even better send it ahead. Hand your note to the practitioner when you are lost for words, or feel derailed.
Tip 2: Finding Your Voice: Don’t Give Up Your Power
This appointment/conversation is about you and your needs. Start the conversation with what you need.
Answer: how are you? With…
“I’m really glad you asked that, there are a few things that I have written down that I was hoping to talk with you about today.”
Tip 3: Finding Your Voice: If You Don’t Get What You Need, Book Back in on the Spot
Sometimes we get derailed, or our practitioner doesn’t have time for us, or a fire alarm rings in the middle of our appointment (true story).
But instead of leaving feeling deflated, before you cross the doorway stop yourself. Turn around and make a follow-up appointment. Ask the reception to type in the notes what you want to talk about, what you didn’t get to today. Schedule yourself in, and revisit shortly.
Don’t get mad at yourself, or your practitioner. Instead, the most important thing is to take it all in stride. It’s easy to get down on yourself for not covering off everything you want/need in the session. As practitioners we are equally responsible to help you feel safe, and ask you enough questions to help guide it out of you.
It’s a two-way street, but sometimes the traffic doesn’t flow smoothly and that’s ok. There will be time to be heard, but you may need to make the first step to have that happen.
If you enjoyed this blog, you may also like:
Feeling Fatigued: 5 Reasons Why Feeling Flat Out Exhausted Isn’t Normal
Insomnia No More! Tips on How to Get Some Rest.
Or listen to my interview on the Mom’s Sipping Sangria podcast, where we talk about taking control of your health.
The Author, Christina Carew, is a naturopathic doctor who practices functional and strategic medicine in Toronto. As a medical investigator, she is in the business of changing people’s lives.
Dr. Christina focuses on finding the biomedical reasons for symptoms that are often unique to each patient and helps her patients remove the obstacles that stand in the way of living a healthy vibrant life.
Want to know if her approach is right for you – sign up for a free 20-minute consult at https://healingme.ca/book-appointment-naturopathic-doctor/
Note: This blog provides general information and discussion about medicine, health and related subjects. The words and other content provided in this blog, and in any linked materials, are not intended and should not be construed as medical advice. If the reader or any other person has a medical concern, he or she should consult with an appropriately-licensed health care worker
Feeling Fatigued: 5 Reasons Why Feeling Flat Out Exhausted Isn’t Normal
Have you ever told your medical professional – I am so tired, I’m suffering from exhaustion? Was the reply ‘that’s normal for someone that is (insert new mother, working professional, commuter, etc)”.
If you find yourself dragging yourself out of bed? Using coffee or caffeine drinks to keep you going? Or wanting to take a nap under your desk mid-afternoon? This is not normal.
Exhaustion isn’t Normal
Fatigue is one of the medical conditions that is non-specific to any particular condition. Because it isn’t a clear cue, it is often pushed aside. This takes work to find out why you are tired. And your reason, may be different then why the person at the desk beside you is holding their eyelids open with toothpicks.
Some of the usual culprits that are blamed include:
- Working too much
- Too much stress
- Poor eating habits (content or frequency)
- Iron Deficiency or Anemia
- Low vitamin D
- Lacking enough vitamin B12
All of these will definitely impact your body fatigue levels. But there are also a list of other reasons that are often never considered. This blog gives you a snapshot of five other common possibilities.
Reason #1: Hydration
This isn’t just about drinking water, although that is super important, but are you actually missing the electrolytes in your body that keep things going. Mineral electrolytes such as potassium and magnesium support endurance and energy levels throughout the day.
Before you go reaching for a sports drink – keep in mind that these drinks are filled with sugar, which can actually cause you to crash further. Click here for a homemade electrolyte drink you can make ahead and take with you to the office.
Want to know more about water hydration and fatigue click here.
Reason #2: Low ATP
You may remember ATP from high school science class. The most important thing to remember – it is the fuel that is responsible for energy in the body. It’s like running a car with an empty gas tank. It certainly isn’t going to perform to expectations, and may actually crawl to a slow stop along your journey.
Your body makes ATP through some complicated cycles in the body. Most of which involve adding and removing nutrients. If you are lacking in these nutrients the cycle will just stop.
Feel like you’ve hit a wall? This may be that your ATP production is slowed right down, and your body is yelling at you to stop.
Reason #3: Toxicity
When you look out the window of your condo or car you may see a thin layer of dirt covering it. It seems like everything is clear. But the second the window is washed its like a whole new world is displayed bright and full of life.
Toxicity in the body is sort of like that dirty window. When it creeps into your life slowly you sometimes don’t notice it is there, but as soon as it is gone it’s like a whole new body.
We get exposed to all kinds of toxicity. Some people are genetically predisposed to absorb more, and some people just don’t detoxify well. Toxicity can be in the form of car pollution such as from sitting in the endless traffic. It comes from airplane travel overhead, living close to a highway or busy street. Perhaps you are living in or near a construction site, drink water from old pipes, live or work in an older building. Living near a golf course or park that is sprayed with pesticides can contribute to toxin exposure.
We can’t avoid toxin exposure in the 21st century, but we can make sure to clean our windows regularly, ensuring that it doesn’t build up.
Reason #4: Adrenals
Maybe you’ve heard about adrenal fatigue or adrenal exhaustion. Your adrenal glands are small (the size of walnuts) and sit on top of your kidneys. They are responsible for your ability to fight or flee a situation. They also regulate our ability to deal with stress. The more stress, the more these little walnuts are squeezing out hormones to help our body deal with the threats. Threats can be physical or mental.
Just like anything you use over and over again, without refilling these precious gems, they run out of steam. When you adrenals are low, your energy is low. You probably will also notice a few other things happening in your body.
Some of the common symptoms of adrenal exhaustion include: weight gain around the middle, adult onset acne, hair falling out more quickly then usual, inability to feel energized in the morning.
Want to know if your adrenals may be the culprit, click here.
Reason #5: Sleep
You’ve probably read all about the need for dark spaces, no electronics and appropriate levels of sleep. But it doesn’t always fit everyone’s lifestyle. Need to know more about sleep check out our insomnia blog here.
Sleep is not as linear as we hoped. For some of us creative time is at night. Others have children or work nights. Whatever your challenge may be, there are always ways to help you get better quality sleep.
Research actually tells us that it isn’t about the number of hours you get, but about the quality of sleep you get in those hours. That is why some people seem to soar on little sleep, and others feel like they are moving mountains when their sleep gets cut short.
One of the contributors to better quality sleep are neurotransmitters – these are the hormones in our brain that help us to calm our brain and fall into deep sleep.
Ready to Reclaim Your Health!
Need to figure out if you are burned out? Check out our burnout scale and find out…
The Author, Christina Carew, is a naturopathic doctor who practices strategic medicine in Toronto.
As a medical investigator she focuses on finding the biomedical reasons for symptoms that are often unique to each patient.
She helps her patients remove the obstacles that stand in the way of living a healthy vibrant life. Christina focuses on empowering patients to make informed decisions on their health journey.
Note: This blog provides general information and discussion about medicine, health and related subjects. The words and other content provided in this blog, and in any linked materials, are not intended and should not be construed as medical advice. If the reader or any other person has a medical concern, he or she should consult with an appropriately-licensed health care worker.